2 years ago today our baby daughter Lianna was stillborn. It’s hard to know if today is her birthday or not. Whatever, it was hard to feel sad this morning when I woke up and could hear 7 month old Riley in his cot saying “dada dada daddy” with a big grin on his face.
Sometimes things are very hard to understand or cope with and, about a year ago I honestly felt like someone had cursed me. Everything seemed to be going wrong from little niggly things like the shower breaking to Wolf’s Head being rejected by every agent I sent it to. I eventually decided feeling depressed was bringing bad luck down on me and made a conscious effort to be more positive and thankful for what I have. Literally from that moment on things took a turn for the better.
I wrote a song called “Hope” about how I felt and, if anyone has read The Wolf and the Raven you might recognise the word from Robin’s situation in the book. I never realised until a couple of days ago how close his experience is to mine – I certainly didn’t write it on purpose but I suppose the things that had happened to me made it easier for me to put myself in Robin’s shoes.

Life can kick you in the bollocks but I’m a lucky man to have my wife and two amazing children so, if you’re having a hard time…”Never give up hope!”

I look out on the horizon,
Behold the coming day,
What will Fortune bring me?
How will she mould this clay?

The sunrise is hopeful,
But the clouds promise rain,
Before the day is over,
Will the gloom take me again?

My spirits rise,
And I embrace the morning,
As the past,
Is washed away

Make ready for my journey,
Gather up my things,
I open up my front door,
As a distant church bell rings

The sun is brushed aside,
While I move along the trail,
As the stormclouds break above my head,
I cry, ‘I will prevail!’

My spirits rise,
And I embrace the morning,
As the past,
Is washed away

I look out on the horizon,
Behold another day,
But it doesn’t seem to matter, now,
If the skies are dark and grey

For as long as you are with me,
Hope will never die,
And the stormclouds of another day,
Will part with a new sunrise

Here’s a version of “Hope” with my friend Bil Moore playing the 12 string and me singing (I normally played mandolin but I don’t hear it in the recording so it must have been one of the first times we played it). It sounds alright, despite it being recorded on a potato.

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